Facing Fears
by ImaPsychoSquirrel
Summary: Remus and Tonks care about each other, but they have trouble confronting each other about how they feel. What does it take to change that? Why, a day alone together, an empty Black house, and a rather persistent boggart, of course.Oneshot, my first RemusT


Facing Fears

Summary: Remus and Tonks care about each other, but they have trouble confronting each other about how they feel. What does it take to change that? Why, a day alone together, an empty Black house, and a rather persistent boggart, of course.

It was 6:00 AM on Saturday morning when Remus Lupin awoke to less-than-soothing sounds in the Black house.

"Filthy scum! Blood traitor! Get out of my house! How dare you..." The screams were coming from two stories below. Mrs. Black's tantrum was as clear and shrill as if she were shouting directly into Remus's ear.

The unbearably loud screeching of old Mrs. Black gradually died away, accompanied by other noises Remus was well accustomed to by now. He heard feet rushing, cloaks rustling, and Sirius' lighthearted cursing as he pulled shut the ragged curtains that covered his mother's picture on the wall of the gloomy old house. And then he heard another familiar noise.

Crash! There was a heavy thud of a large object hitting the floor, and then more lighthearted cursing, this time from a clearly disgruntled and clearly female voice. Remus smiled to himself. Yes, the sound of Tonks tripping over the giant umbrella stand in the downstairs hall was almost as familiar to him as the earpiercing screams of Mrs. Black. Of course, Tonks's disturbance was not nearly offensive, and it always put a concerned but amused smile on his face as he thought of the younger member of the Black family.

Still smiling, Remus pulled himself up out of his bed, dressed, and ambled down the stairs. He followed the scuffling noises into the hall to find Sirius still yanking the curtains shut, and to see Tonks struggling to upright the heavy umbrella stand. She looked up as he hurried over to give her a hand. "Wotcher, Remus," she said wearily as the two of them finally managed to return the stand to its former position.

Remus smiled at her, eyes twinkling with a hint of mischief. "Already having accidents this early in the morning?"

Tonks's faced flushed slightly, and her spiky pink hair bristled. "You ought to know by now, Remus, that it's never to early for me to make a fool of myself." She grinned back and tossed her head. "My clumsiness is not ruled by the clock." Suddenly there was a dull rumble from Tonks's direction. "But my stomach is. I'll go start the breakfast." She turned to stroll away, narrowly avoiding a collision with the wall. Remus watched her walk toward the kitchen, a contented smile playing about his lips.

Sirius had turned away from the portrait at the mention of food, and, in doing so, he caught Remus staring after Tonks. However, before he could tease him about it, his hands slipped from the curtains, and Mrs. Black began to scream and curse again.

"Foul waste of a son! You've ruined the family! Filthy mongrel! Loafing about with half-creatures and mudbloods! You're no son of mine, you dirty blood traitor..." Again her voice trailed away as Sirius wrenched the curtains over her portrait.

"Love you, too, Mum!" he hollered back with a final yank. He wiped his brow as he turned back to Remus and Tonks. "Gotta love dear old mum," he panted, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "She's such a darling." He nodded to Remus. "Didn't mean to wake you up, Moony."

"What are you up to this early, anyway?" Remus asked curiously. "You're usually sound asleep till at least noon."

Sirius feigned hurt. "My dear friend, I take utmost offense at your unprovoked attack. I always rise at the crack of dawn..." He raised his voice to be heard above Tonks's snort of laughter. "But, if you must know, I'm up at this hour because..." he paused dramatically, "I am off on an adventure." He shrugged. "Well, actually, I'm off to visit to the Weasely's to pick up Harry and Ron. We're going to spend the day at Diagon Alley, engaging in scholarly and sophisticated pursuits..."

"So you'll be stuffing your face at Fortescue's and drooling over broomsticks," Remus translated.

"Exactly," Sirius replied, grinning.

Remus smiled back. "Anything you want me to do while you're gone?"

"No, everything should be taken care of," Sirius responded. "Don't worry about cleaning...although if you really need something to do, there's a boggart in one of the upstairs bedrooms."

Remus shrugged. "Sure, I'll take care of it. Which bedroom?"

"That spare bedroom next to mine. It's in the wardrobe. Of course, if you're scared..." he pulled an exaggeratedly frightened face.

Remus laughed. "I think I can manage."

Sirius slapped him on the back. "All right, then, mate. I'll be off." He winked at Remus. "I was going to ask you to keep an eye on Tonks, but I think you've got that down pretty well."

Remus flushed slightly. Enjoying the moment, Sirius laughed and headed for the nearest fireplace. Grabbing a handful of Floo powder from the jar on the mantel, he gave a final wave and was gone.

Shaking his head, Remus headed for the kitchen, trying to dismiss Sirius's comment from his head. _It's just Sirius,_ he told himself. _He doesn't know what he's talking about. He was just having fun, that's all. You don't have a crush on---_

Tonks. There she was in the kitchen. He watched as she turned on the stove and began heating the bacon. Then she tried to get the toast out of the toaster. After a few attempts, she sighed with frustration. Looking around the kitchen, shegrabbed a fork from the counter and moved back towards the toaster.

"Tonks, no!" Remus exclaimed. He rushed across the kitchen and plucked the fork from her hand. "You can't stick that in the toaster, Tonks, it's metal. You could electrecute yourself."

Tonks stared at him. "Um, I was actually going to put it in the sink. It's dirty, see?" She plucked it out of his hand and held it up. "Thanks for the concern, Remus, but I think I can manage breakfast without burns." She turned toward the sink and her arm caught on the handle of the pan of bacon on the stove. She let out a little shriek as it began to tip. Both Remus and Tonks lunged for the handle to steady it back on the stove, which they did. Then neither of them moved. Both their hands were still on the handle, touching gently.

Tonks blushed and took her hand away. "Right. Um, what I was saying about being able to avoid burns during breakfast? Never mind. I'm not quite up to that level yet."

Remus laughed softly. "It was my fault. I distracted you." His face became concerned. "You didn't actually get burned, did you?"

"No," she assured him. "I'm fine. Hey, how about if we actually eat breakfast, before I completely ruin it?"

"Sounds good to me," Remus said. He turned off the stove and brought the pan of bacon over to the table, Tonks following with scrambled eggs and toast. Remus set the bacon down and brought orange juice and two glasses. Normally he took coffee in the morning to keep him awake, but this morning he felt that Tonks was doing a fine job of keeping him alert. Remus knew he was overprotective when it came to Tonks, but he couldn't help it. He knew Tonks was perfectly capable of taking care of herself, but that didn't stop him from thinking about her more times a day than he liked to admit.

The two friends spent the next half hour talking and laughing between bites of breakfast. Tonks wasn't usually a morning person, but talking to Remus always put her in such a good mood. Today was no exception, but she couldn't help but feel a little worried when she looked at him. It looked like he had had a rough night. His eyes had faint dark circles under them, and he appeared to be slightly pale. She had seen him looking like this more than once, but had never felt that it was the right place or time to ask him about it. _Well,_ Tonks thought to herself, _now's as good a time as ever._

After a brief pause in the conversation, she looked Remus in the eye. "Are you feeling all right?" she asked.

Remus started slightly at the question, but recovered. "Yes, I'm fine," he replied, but he sounded a little nervous. "Why do you ask?"

Tonks shrugged her shoulders casually. "No reason," she said lightly. "You just looked a little tired."

Remus relaxed. "I've just had a bit of trouble sleeping lately, that's all."

Tonks decided to drop the matter. "So what are you planning on doing today?" she asked.

"Oh, not much. I've got the day off from Order duty. I was planning to do some housework around here, but Sirius said that there's not much left to be done. He did mention a boggart in one of the upstairs rooms, though... I'll probably take care of that now."

Remus began picking up the empty dishes and carrying them to the sink. A little disappointed, Tonks got up as well and helped him with the dishes. When they were done, Remus wiped his hands and smiled at Tonks. "Well, I'll be upstairs, then, if you need me."

Trying not to drop the plates she was stacking, Tonks wasn't paying attention. " 'Kay," she muttered distractedly.

Remus left the kitchen and headed upstairs. Entering the bedroom that Sirius had mentioned, he quickly found the wardrobe. He knocked lightly on it and heard a muffled thumping inside. Grabbing his wand with one hand, Remus reached to open the door. Before he could turn the handle, the door flew open, hitting him squarely in the face. Remus staggered backward, and there was a rush of air as the boggart zoomed out of the wardrobe.

Remus' head pounded and stars swam before his eyes as he struggled to maintain his balance. When his eyes refocused and he was able to look at the boggart, he found himself face to face with his fear.

Remus was staring at a large, ferocious-looking wolf with deadly fangs and menacing eyes. Moonlight streamed down on the monster as it sniffed the air and bared its teeth. The creature was not alone. Remus next saw several people standing near the wolf, their faces full of terror. Remus inhaled sharply. He knew these people.

He saw Harry, standing with Ron and Hermione a few short feet away from the wolf. The three young people turned to run as the wolf turned on them viciously and crouched to spring. Then the image changed, and Remus saw Sirius standing in place of Harry and his friends. Next he saw the Weasley family, replaced by Albus Dumbledore, Minerva McGonagall, and other friends from Hogwarts. The boggart kept changing from victim to victim, but the look of fear on their faces remained.

Remus grasped his wand and pointed it shakily at the boggart. "Ri..ri..riddikulus," he stammered faintly. He tried hard to focus on the spell, but he could find nothing humorous to defeat the boggart. Far from being threatened, it seemed to Remus that the boggart was laughing at him. Remus felt his heart leap into his throat as the boggart changed again to mock him.

The wolf now turned to a new prey. A familiar figure crouched close to the wolf as the creature snarled maliciously. Again there was fear in the eyes of this victim, but Remus was struck more by the disgust and rejection on her face.

Remus watched as the boggart Tonks stared with a hurt expression at the werewolf, at the monster that she had been tricked into thinking was a normal human being. Sadness and repulsion filled her eyes as she turned to run. She was too late. The wolf sprang at Tonks and tackled her to the ground, its vicious growls drowning out the sounds of her terrified screams.

"No!" Remus shouted as he rushed toward the boggart. "Stop! No! Don't..." He was about to grab the boggart-werewolf when he heard hurried footsteps behind him followed by a soft cry. He felt someone's arms around his waist, pulling him gently but firmly away from the boggart. He stumbled backward and fell to the floor as he heard a cry of "Riddikulus!" in a clear, familiar voice.

Remus lay on the floor, pantingas he stared up at the ceiling. A familiar figure bent over him and smoothed the hair out of his eyes.

"Wotcher, Remus," Tonks said softly.

Remus took a deep breath and slowly sat up. He hesitated before raising his eyes to meet hers. Again, he saw fear in her face, mixed with an unreadable emotion. "I'm sorry, Tonks. I can explain..." his voice trailed off into silence. He stayed silent for a moment that felt like eternity, trying to gather up the courage he needed to be honest with her. "I'm a werewolf."

Tonks looked at him for an equally long moment. "So what?" she said finally.

Remus fixed her with a blank stare. "What do you mean, so what?" he asked incredulously. "I'm a werewolf. I'm a dark, dangerous, creature, and I'm a monster even more because I never told you. What do you mean, so what?"

Tonks held his gaze. "I don't care," she replied simply.

Rermus stared at her in shock. "But...but...I'm a werewolf," he repeated dumbly.

Tonks laughed softly. "I think we've established that, thanks." She shifted her position on the floor so that she was sitting cross-legged across from Remus. Reaching out to take his hand, Tonks looked him directly in the eye. "Remus, you are a sweet, gentle, intelligent man," she said in a gentle but firm tone. "You are kind, generous, thoughtful, considerate, compassionate, and loving. I don't care if you're a werewolf. That doesn't change the fact that you are the most decent human I've ever had the privilege of knowing."

Remus continued to stare at her in amazement. "I don't know what to say," he uttered finally.

Tonks smiled ruefully. "I've been known to have that effect on people." She recrossed her legs and slid a little closer to him, still holding his hand gently. "Remus, do me a favor and don't look down on yourself because you've got one little problem that you have no control over. There's so many good qualities in you that the rest of us see when we look at you."

Remus smiled faintly. "It's just...You...I've...That's not the usual reaction I get from most people when they find out that I'm a werewolf."

Tonks grinned. "Well, I'm not most people," she replied, a mischievous look in her eye. "And neither are you," she said, her face growing serious. "You're so much more."

Eyes filled with gratitude and perhaps with something more, Remus reached out to hold Tonk's other hand. For a moment they sat quietly with their hands gently intertwined. No words were needed. Everything they needed to know was written in each other's face and felt in each other's heart.


End file.
